Monday, March 7, 2011

An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth"

He fought an incredible fight, but our amazing and beautiful Dougie passed away on Thursday March 3rd around 11:00AM. At only 6 weeks and 3 days of being here on Earth we had to make the hardest decision in the world and give him up to God. I was able to hold my baby for the first time as he passed away in my arms. I will always remember the last breath he took right there in my arms and the feeling of emptiness in my heart thereafter. Brad and I sat and held him for hours as our family and friends came to say goodbye, then we were able to give him a bath and get him dressed. It was tragic knowing we will not be able to bring him home with us, to meet his Doggies, see his nursery that is filled with toys, clothes and books; but it was also relieving to know he is no longer in pain, no longer fighting to live, no more surgeries, no more drugs, just at peace. He is now able to be the happy baby he should have been.

I lay here in bed, on what would have been Dougie's 7th week birthday. The questions have started to slow down in my head, why him, why us, why now, why was he put through all he was put through only to be taken from us. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that we will never have those answers. But because I realize that, it in no way means I have accepted what has happened. I am still angry, heartbroken, and lost. It will be a long time before I'm able to accept what's happened. As you can read from all of my previous blog post's I did not expect that we were going to get the outcome that we did. But we did. So now I have to find the strength to move on.

Brad and I continue to be so touched and in awe of the support we have gotten from all our friends and family as well as complete strangers. We are beginning to realize what Dougie's purpose was. We know he has touched so many of you and brought faith and belief in what is bigger than us, and he brought awareness to CDH.

Services will be Held on Wednesday March 9th at 11:00AM at Saddleback Church (1 Saddleback Parkway, Lake Forest) in the Plaza building.

We ask any of you that have followed Dougie's Journey, and anyone that Dougie had touched to please feel free to join us in celebrating this amazing little man and his incredible life, although it was a mere 6 and a half weeks we have so very much to be thankful for.

God Bless Our Little Man, God Bless Our Beautiful Angel,
Mere and Brad


  1. I've been following your blog. I'm friends with Nickie. I'm so incredibly heart broken about Dougies passing. You two are amazing people and I'll continue to pray that god brings peace to you both. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with your entire family. I'm so sorry... God bless you all!!! Xoxoxo

    RIP Dougie!!!


  2. Mere, Like you, I was totally unprepared for Dougies passing. I was sure with your incredible attitude, the excellent doctors, etc that you would be bringing Dougie home. I can't imagine the loss you are feeling but hope your faith and knowing that Dougie is in a much better place and no longer struggling helps at least a little. One additional thing that came out of this journey for me was having the chance to get to know you and Brad and being able to follow Dougies Journey, as difficult as the outcome was. I will continue to keep you, Brad and your families in my prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
    I will always have a picture in my head of your Little Man watching us from up above while he's doing what babies are meant to do.
    Love all of you.

  3. Although I don't know you and Brad personally, as a mother I feel a strong connection to you both. The loss of a child is one of the hardest things to think about, let alone endure. You and Brad, and your little Angel Dougie have been in my prayers and thoughts. I pray that God gives you the strength you need to get through this difficult time and that you guys can find comfort in the Lord knowing that Dougie has served his purpose of toucing your lives, and bringing awareness to CDH, and that you will continue to fight the fight of helping find a cure in his honor. The outpouring of support that I have seen is tremendous and there are people near and far whose lives have been touched by Dougie's journey. I feel honored to say that Dougie has taught me a thing or two about strength and purpose here on earth. May Dougie walk with the Angels of God, and may you and your family find comfort in knowing what an amazing Angel you have watching over you. I will be there tomorrow to join in the celebration of Dougie's life and to support you and your family..

    Kristin Phemister - Maynes

  4. Mere and Brad, I am so sorry for your loss. You are very brave and strong to have kept everyone posted with the story of Dougie's life and passing online. That courage and strength will get you guys through anything. I love you both.


  5. Meredith and Brad,
    We went to middle school together ages ago at IMS and through members of my church, WACC in Whittier, I was able to hear about Dougie's amazing 6 and a 1/2 weeks here on Earth and his condition of CDH. I have been praying for all of you and am so sorry to hear of his passing. But know that he is walking with the Lord and is an angel now. Through your blog, I have read the amazing courage and strength both you and your husband have had and I too believe he is up above and in peace now. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers and God Bless all of you in this time of need!
    -Crystal S.

  6. I can't be there today but I love you and am thinking about you and praying that you might find the strength to endure the unthinkable. I know you have an amazing family and all of the support and love that you will ever need but please know that I've been following along, silently, praying for you and sending my love to you. God bless you and your family!

    - Jennifer Johnson

  7. Although you may not feel like it, you are such a strong women. Ive read this blog over and over and over, I am deeply saddened from your loss. All my heart is with you and your family. RIP beautiful baby boy.

  8. Meredith & Brad, You don't know me but I am Anthony's cousin and I just joined facebook and read about the loss of your precious son. My heart is breaking for your family right now, I too lost a son when he was 11 years old and I know how much you are hurting. This is the worst thing you will ever experience but your faith and your God will get you through one day at a time. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers from now on. Love, Debbie Gartley Brown

  9. ~My heart is with you as you remember and celebrate the life journey of this amazing little boy. I too lost a baby to CDH related issues, and he also had Trisomy 13--prenatally diagnosed halfway through my pregnancy. The month of March is CDH Awareness month. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

  10. I can't even find words to express how sorry I am! I have been so touched and will always be touched by you, your husband and most of all your amazing little boy! God couldn't wait any longer and wanted his perfect angel next to him. I will always continue to pray for your family... I am truly sorry for your loss!!!!!!